Spiritual Skills - Compassion

Compassion

The three treasures, jewels, or basic virtues of the Tao are Compassion, Moderation, and Humility. These traits were thought to form the basis for a vital life connected to the Tao – the way of the Universe. Compassion is about sympathy, pity, and concern for the sufferings or misfortunes of others. The term also comprises elements of tenderness, love, mercy, kindness, gentleness, and benevolence.

Nearly every religion and philosophy in the world includes compassion as one of its hallmark virtues. They believe being compassionate makes you a better person and a better friend, teaches you to handle tough situations and people, develops a crucial social skill, and is the basis for happiness and emotional control, partly because you sympathize with and understand the motivations of someone who might normally upset you.

Students of brain chemistry know that we give ourselves a jolt of serotonin when we do something nice for someone or when we are compassionate to someone. This makes us feel good – happy, more loving and more compassionate. We are on a positive spiral. An interesting observation is that the recipients of our good deeds and sympathies also emit a dose of serotonin to their brains and thus feel happier and more compassionate as well. Even more remarkable, however, is that neutral observers of a good deed or sympathy expressed also get a natural dose of serotonin and feel good and compassionate. So, a compassionate act makes everyone feel good: you, the person you sympathize with, and anyone observing your act. (A movie entitled ‘Serotonin Rising’ goes into more details of this phenomenon.)

Happy feelings aside, there are some components of compassion worth developing to hone this spiritual skill:

Non-discrimination (being judgment free)
Empathy, tolerance and patience
Openness (for details see the earlier essay on this subject)
Selflessness or altruism (service to others)
Optimism

To be compassionate is to see both yourself and the person less fortunate as coming from source. To know and connect with where you’ve come from – where you are – is to instill serenity and kindheartedness into the situation. Be willing to suspend your judgments about who deserves and doesn’t deserve your sympathy or compassion. Often, we hold back our compassion when we judge that someone brought some dire situation upon himself or herself. While they may have co-created their misfortune, they should still be accepted and loved; this is one basis for compassion.

Compassionate people are often frustrated by today’s world. There appears to be an excess of suffering and inequity in the world that their compassionate nature would like to alleviate. Many of these people would tell you we do not live in a loving, kind and abundant universe. A helpful and different perspective that many New Thought devotees have is that we are each learning lessons in the physical plane that will help us grow spiritually. A compassionate person with this latter perspective can love what is, and help others be at peace with themselves and with the situations they find themselves in. The traits above help promote this perspective. Compassionate people do not need to ‘solve’ the problem, only to provide the love and support around it.

Empathy is a key ingredient of compassion. If we remain self-centered (ego driven), this is a difficult trait to invoke. Key to being empathetic is the realization that a less fortunate person is just like you: seeking love, joy, happiness, prosperity, peace, health, and contentment. Recognize that you are dealing with human emotions, not just an impersonal situation. Some people may not want to talk about or recognize their feelings and emotions. Another key to empathy is to avoid interrogating the person about the situation they find themselves in; accept what they are willing to share with you, but don’t feel you need to press for details. Empathy or compassion should add something to a situation not pose a distraction.

Being compassionate does not mean you need to be resigned to the situation. There are actions that can be taken without being manipulative or forcing your own solutions onto the situation. We can be open and flexible with no hidden agendas. Providing some helpful services can communicate your sense of compassion. I’ve always thought a proffered cup of hot honey tea demonstrated great caring by someone.

To understand the right level of ‘doing’ or service in a situation, imagine that you are the misfortunate person. What would you like said or done in the situation? What would comfort you? Help if you can with your support, knowing that in some situations where dramatic change or trauma has taken place that the recipient of your gestures may be in the stages of denial or anger about their situation. Your tolerance and patience will be needed, as well as your soothing words. Remember, sometimes just your silent presence is an invaluable demonstration of compassion.

Lastly, maintain your own connection to source energy. Bring the infinite wisdom and optimism your connection to source always provides in any situation. Moderate your words, telling someone locked into the physical realm to ‘buck up’ or that ‘things will get better’ may not be received well. As you feel your connection to source, help the other person reestablish his or her own connection and perspective. Practice the art of allowing in this context, allowing source energy to flow through you to the other person, and allowing the situation to unfold as source intends. Our well being and that of the person we sympathize with will remain connected to source, whether or not we choose to remember that connection. There are no ‘bad’ outcomes.

Remember we are all connected to source energy, part of source energy, and manifestations of source energy.

With love and caring,

Namasté

This website is to stimulate your spiritual thinking in the hope that it will contribute to your spiritual growth. The author invites your comments and critiques by reply e-mail to bob@futuremoons.com.